Ugh...
I've just arrived back from taking the girls to gym.
The build-up to leaving the house was effing awful, Cass was playing up big time and freaking about her hair and clothes, my stress levels were through the roof. Then we eventually got out and got in the car, Cass still whinging. I felt panic rising while I was driving a few times, I felt like turning back, but I took some Rescue Remedy and somehow kept on going.
The first carpark was full...DAMN!
So we drove on a little and found another one, a left turn into this narrow little carpark entrance with a metal thing around it. I took the turn too wide and was too close to the metal bar on the right side - the parking sensor was beeping like mad but there was a car right up my arse behind me in a queue on the main road and I couldn't reverse - I was panicking! SHIT...I kept on going with my fingers crossed......
Yes, Sods Law... I scraped the wheel arch on the metal thing.. FUCK!!
So then I was highly anxious, somehow managed to get the girls to gym on time but was in derealisation mode - like it wasn't actually my body. Got back in the car, realised I had no frikkin fuel left and in no mood to go to garage, but I had to. I had begun to calm down so went and got fuel and this went ok but I still have that wierd spaced 'not quite here' feeling.
I feel exhausted and I have to go do it all again in half an hour, luckily my mum is coming too but we have to sit in the room with other people and watch while the kids do their performance. It's only for 15 mins though so hopefully I'll be ok.
I'm so disappointed, I really thought I was feeling better. I hope this is just a temporary blip.
And what is J gonna say when I tell him I damaged the car?????
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4 comments:
Meh, these things happen to the best of us. J'll understand, and if he doesn't, least he's in London! You're actually managing to control your anxiety and do stuff which is awesome. You're doing great - don't let a lil blip stress you out.
You carried on despite having rising anxiety...that is brilliant!!!
When something like that happens to me, I always tell myself, "Nothing is as bad as it seems." And, you know what! It is always true.
Thanks everyone, it all turned out ok in the end. Still not told J yet about the car because he's not home yet, so eeeek, wish me luck with that. :)
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