Day 4 on Fluoxetine
Well, it's now nearly 10pm, I've had 3 glasses of wine and I feel really chilled and mellow, probably the fluoxetine has enhanced the effects of the alcohol. Wooowoooooooh!
I didn't end up having to do the school run as the cricket finished early, so J did it - phew! Probably not such a good thing though cos that means 'Day 5 in the Big Brother House' (not been out for 5 days). I did venture into the garden this evening for a little while to breathe some fresh air and chase a cat away from stalking my one eyed guinea pig.
J's dad came over for a visit so it took all my powers to 'act normal' when he was here, I had to keep doing stuff to distract myself from looming anx, I did quite well and then it passed.
'Bitchy mum' phoned to remind me we had a night out tonight, which of course I can't go to (I was really looking forward to it but in my current state I just can't).
I did a brave thing though...I told her my troubles, in a lighthearted, making fun of myself sort of way. Guess what? she totally understood, she said she would take the girls to the park tomorrow after school if I didn't feel up to it, so that felt good.
I am beginning to like this honesty thing, I've hidden this for years like a guilty secret, but what is there to be ashamed about?
This evening me and my girls cuddled up in front of TV and watched Gok's Fashion Fix (Celebrity Stylist), we love Gok Wan - he's fabulous! He makes me wanna be a his fag hag.
I'm desperately trying to stay awake until midnight, if I fall asleep now I'll wake up too early and that is not good. I'm shit in the mornings as it is.
About Me
- Jo
- United Kingdom
- Most of the time, I am a happy, sociable fun-loving mum of 2 girls with the best partner ever. Sometimes, I become this terrified, housebound, selfish person due to anxiety/panic disorder. It is a minor blip in my life and I won't let it beat me. I decided to create a diary blog for therapeutic reasons and also to help fellow sufferers/loved ones of sufferers.
3 comments:
Yay for bitchy mum not being bitch *grins*. The strength you're showing in sharing this makes me quite sure that all us loyal (if sometimes quiet) FreeStyle readers will have the Creamy we know and giggle with back soon enough. I know what you mean about it would have been good in a way to *have* to go out, but am glad you didn't have the stress when not ready for it. And hope it is the meds kicking in for you rather than just the plonk, but hey, enjoy that too - gotta have some pleasures!
God your'e doing so well. Each day is a wee triumph, and if you take it slowly and be kind to yourself you'll get there in no time at all. You are one of the bravest funniest girls I know, and it probably doesn't seem like it now, but I'm seeing your spark creep back. Hehe sometimes Bitchy Mums can be a godsend!!
xx
Yay, thanks girls, I'm almost feeling like I can venture onto SL again today.
Yeah I'm quite fond of 'bitchy mum' really, she's just very opinionated and critical of certain people, but most of the time she is right - she basically says what everyone is thinking but doesn't dare say.
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