Brrrum Bruummm

Day 15 on fluoxetine

Yessss, I did it!

Yesterday we drove out to my parents for the first time since I have been feeling like this, I have not been able to step foot in our car for a couple of weeks.

Well I did it!! You may wonder, what is the issue with sitting as a passenger in a car? The issue is sitting, not doing anything, being able to think, thinking is not good when you are in this anxious frame of mind - you start thinking of how you are feeling, are you going to panic, are you going to want to jump out of the car and run screaming up the hard shoulder???

I didn't do any of those things, yes I felt a bit nervous on the first part of the journey, the kids were fighting and J was getting annoyed at me not telling them off, I was too busy trying to keep myself together.

Anyway, I settled into it and it was quite nice, we arrived at my mum and dads safely with no incident.

Next hurdle
My parents live in the countryside, it was a beautiful day so we decided to go for a walk up the track - a steepish hill through the fields. I was fine, but after about a mile I got the visual disturbances, like little lights in my vision (I get these a lot and always have done, but when I am having anxious periods I worry about them). So I began to think that I was feeling dizzy and hot and my mind started going off on one, like, how would an ambulance get here? sort of crap - it sounds so stupid now.
I told my mum I felt a bit dizzy and in true mum style she said "well, if you faint we'll leave you here and pick you up on the way back" anyway that made me laugh and then I felt a bit better again.

We stayed at my parents house last night and then J drove us home this morning, announcing half way that we would be picking his car up from the garage and I would have to DRIVE MY CAR. I haven't driven in ages....eeeeeeeeps!

So I fended off the anx all the way to the garage at the thought of driving, we arrived there and I jumped in the drivers seat, J then realised that the garage was closed so he couldn't pick up his car.

Guess what? I drove anyway and it was totally fine!!!

YAAAAAAAAAAAY!