Day 2 on Fluoxetine aka Prozac
Hi everyone, I've been kinda struggling whether to tell you this but I've decided to come clean, I am not what I seem. I want to share this with you because I know there are probably many other people out there who suffer with this/or have done, or have loved ones who do.
I go through phases of anxiety/panic disorder and have done for most of my life - no reason for it, it's just the person I am.
I thought it wouldn't get to me again, but for the past couple of weeks I have been suffering a particularly nasty bout.
The last bad case of it was over 2 yrs ago, I was prescribed fluoxetine and Cognitive Behavioural Therapy and I beat it after a couple of months and I know I can do it again!
I've just got that little thought in my head saying 'what if it doesn't go away this time, what if I am actually going crazy, what if...? Deep down I know these negative thoughts are the nature of the beast, right now I have a constant inner dialogue of positive and negative thoughts fighting is the only way to describe it.
Socially I am struggling in every aspect, it's extremely frustrating because usually I am a very sociable person, people are shocked if I tell them how I am feeling as they see me as this smiley, happy person with a huge personality, but inside (when I am going through this) I feel like a small terrified child. Luckily I have a very supportive partner and parents who help me a great deal when I go through this, but i just have this perma-feeling of guilt for putting them through it. I really try to hide it from my girls too but I'm sure they most know something is wrong.
I am feeling very depressed right now. I don't suffer depression on it's own, it is caused by the anxiety because I can see no way out, I feel like I am on a permanent rollercoaster and I want to get off. I have been taking the meds for 2 days so hopefully soon they will help me feel better soon - right now I feel terrible and I can't stop crying. I've been housebound for 4 days and the weather is beautiful outside. I want to WANT to go out, I just feel so scared of I don't know what.
There, I'm glad I got that off my chest, thanks for listening. I KNOW I will feel better soon.
About Me
- Jo
- United Kingdom
- Most of the time, I am a happy, sociable fun-loving mum of 2 girls with the best partner ever. Sometimes, I become this terrified, housebound, selfish person due to anxiety/panic disorder. It is a minor blip in my life and I won't let it beat me. I decided to create a diary blog for therapeutic reasons and also to help fellow sufferers/loved ones of sufferers.
30 comments:
we love you to bits, and I just know you'll get through this in one piece. Hang on in there, your in our thoughts and our hearts
<33
Ash
and many prayers! take good care of yourself ~Nissa
ditto to what ashia said. I have my own brushes with this and know that logic can't tell the emotional side how to feel. We love you and all you do for us. We will all be here to greet you with loving arms when you can return to us. hugs!
Take care of yourself and know you've got friends all around the world who think you're the bomb. Please feel free to drop me a line any time if you're bored and want to rambe.
Everyone has their "THING!" Sometime I'll tell you about how I flip out when I'm "lost while driving"..........
Big smile! - Gidge
don't worry ,creamy ,we're here for you .. hope you'll get better soon <3
Streght above all and you will sucess for sure!!
Ahh you poor bugger, I go through bouts of this secondary to my bipolar disorder and I know how crippling and frightening it can be. Especially since it's one of those self-perpetuating things, you get stuck in this cognitive loop and it feels like you will never get out of it. Meds WILL kick in, they just take a little while but you will get there, just hang on in the mean time and take really good care of yourself. You really aren't going crazy and you will be OK *hugs*
I suffer from depression/anxiety and have all my life. I've been on meds for it now for a few years. I so very much understand the roller coaster. Do what you have to do to nurture yourself. You'll get through this! You're in my prayers.
thanks for sharing this with the world. Know it's a temporary situation and we are all still here praying and holding your health in our hearts.
Wow, you've like...described me. I know /exactly/ what you're going through (except fluoxetine makes me worse, bah!)
You, my dear, are awesome, and will get through this, and...yeah. :)
So very sorry to read of your distress, you have many Friends out in the world that are willing you to feel better and to return to them :)
Some you've never met I'm sure, but whose lives you have touched in a positive way.
God bless,B xx
As you can see, you are definatly NOT alone, Creamy... we all luvs you just the way you are - all blips and quirks included! I admire your strength in telling about it and know that you can and will heal yourself! <3 byootiful!
I've been suffering from depression for about fifteen years now, and had a major depressive episode about a year ago, which lasted until, well...I'll let you know. The meds help a lot now, but I went a long time without any.
I commend anyone with the strength to help themselves get through it, it's one of the hardest things I've ever had to face.
<3
It is possible you might find something that would help you in the book "The Power of Now." Although not explicitly, it deals with anxiety in a very fundamental way - the root cause, in my opinion. It could help in a way that meds cannot.
Thanks for sharing your story with us. I was amazed to hear someone else describe exactly what I go thru too!! I've been thru the therapy, breathing classes, and now am on meds and am doing much better finally! It still can be a daily struggle at times though. Oddly enough, it was being at SL that finally pulled me out of it, when I thought I would be that way forever! SL has been a lifesaver for me in dealing with depression and anxiety in RL. I know you'll get thru this latest episode, just hang in there! We'll all be here waiting for you!!
Ruby
<333333333333333333 Remeber what I said misses, I know what it's like to be in a constant mind battle , obviously not as severe but you know what I mean ..
I'm sure you'll get through it, your a strong COOKIE!
And it's great to know you have a great backup team around you.I may be in the same country but still to farrr so that makes me feel better.
Love you loads and get better :) I expect a cheeky Offliner from you soon!
<3
PS remmeber the bach thingies!
xxxx
Take care of yourself and get better soon. We missed you...
Hugs
Hang in there! You exude the type of spirit and humour that can carry you through just about anything. Just looking at these comments you have a lot of people that care about you because of the wonderful person you are.
<3
Creamy, Take care <3
You mentioned about your CBT, would it be helpful for you to do a Thought Record at this time? Might help a little
Love Cheri xxxx
Hi,
I totally understand how you feel cos I suffer the same ways. I some ways SL can be an escape from loneliness of being inside my head.. but then things get difficult in SL too and you wonder how you can't even cope with 'virtual' people. I'm lucky cos I have access to lots of complimentary therapies in my area of the UK. I'm sure you will move through this phase.. just living a day at a time and trying to have some contact with people even if only on the phone or net (but without pressure)helps me and sometimes a situation arises which gives me that spark I need to move on for a while.. Take care <3 Kat
Thank you so much for sharing this with us Creamface. You are a wonderful mother to your girls and I'm so proud of you for taking care of yourself. You have no reason to feel guilty and are so loved, it's ridiculous! Look at all the heartfelt comments from your friends around the world! We love you and wish you well and thank you for being you. I'm so glad we finally got to be friends and you are in my prayers girly. HEART!!!
You are not alone and know that there are so many that love you and are here for you....We are waiting for you here when you are ready!!! Take your time, be strong and remember your loved by so many!! ~~ Pyper
Anything you need..anything you want..you just let me know. <3
Always friends,
Azia
Oh wow!
As soon as i read all this i burst into tears (again LOL!). I really wasn't expecting this response, I can't express how grateful I am for all your kind words, you all made my day so much brighter.
I hope I can also offer support in some way in your times of need too.
Thank you all so much <3333
Much love Creamy (aka Jo)
Hugs and empathy. Remember, you've beaten it before, you can again, and when you come out the other side this time, you'll be all the stronger for it.
*hugs*
Oh wow. I am impressed with your honesty. I myself have struggled with panic and anxiety since I was a child. It for so long has left me socially awkward. Often leaving e feel like my heart is racing and I can't breathe. Not to mention the feeling of like I am crawling inside my skin and could burst at any moment. I have been on medication for a few now. You are not alone and my thoughts and SLove are with you hon. If ya ever need to shout at someone who understands you can always holler at me.
Thanks efe, allegory and alabama, your hugs and kind words mean a lot to me :))
Creamy, you aren't the only one, at all. You will get through it hon. *hugs*
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